My joy is sharing with you the truths God has taught me for living abundantly in this unpredictable world. I don\u2019t often give details about the circumstances where I learned those life-lessons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today\u2019s thoughts come from a heart-breaking experience that spanned many years\u2014caring for my beloved brother Charlie through numerous health issues and finally, kidney failure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Charlie and I grew up together. He was two years older so we went through school together. In college we took several classes together. By taking summer courses, I caught up with him and we graduated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By that time I\u2019d already married, and a couple years later, he married. But we were still together<\/em>, looking after our aging parents, as our three older siblings lived out of state. Only Charlie and I stayed in our hometown, rearing our children and making a life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Our kids had left the nest and our parents had gone to heaven by 2000 when Charlie lost his wife after a battle with cancer. Later that year, his health issues qualified him for disability retirement, a huge blessing from the Lord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Since he lived alone, I wanted to help fill the emptiness and did everything I could to bring joy to my gentle, soft-spoken brother. After a medical appointment and shopping for groceries, we\u2019d eat at one of his favorite fast-food restaurants, often ending with a Dairy Queen chocolate-dipped cone for dessert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In 2008 our routine changed. After an unexpected diagnosis of severe kidney failure, Charlie underwent fistula surgery, preparing for a day coming soon when he would begin dialysis three days weekly. Shortly after the surgery, a fall landed him in the hospital, and complications forced him to start emergency dialysis. Due to other issues, he had a 50-50 chance of surviving the night, but God spared him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n During the next few weeks Charlie was in and out of the hospital and rehab facilities, unable to get his six-foot frame out of bed. Seeing his decline over the past eight years had bruised my heart. Now, even together<\/em>, we could not care for him at home. A nursing facility was our only option, and that decision broke my heart. My journal notes take the story forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI would rather die than go through this. But that is not God\u2019s will. He still has work for me. He will give me grace to go through this. This is the hard part\u2014getting ready to give him up. In church this morning, we sang \u2018I shall know him by the prints of the nails in his hands.\u2019 My mind\u2019s eye took me back to our childhood, seeing Mother at the kitchen sink singing joyously, \u2018His smile will be the first to welcome me.\u2019 Yes! And then Mama. Her smile will be the second to welcome Charlie and me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n During the next seven years and over forty hospitalizations, Charlie brought joy to my life\u2014and everyone he touched. When he\u2019d return to the nursing facility after a hospital stay, the welcome reminded me of the welcome given the grand marshal of the Rose Bowl parade. Medical staff and residents lined the halls, waving and smiling as the EMS team wheeled him to his room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One night after visiting, as I started to leave the room, he said so softly I almost didn\u2019t hear, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Returning to his bedside, I said, \u201cWhat did you say?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry for being so much trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou are not trouble,\u201d I said. \u201cDon\u2019t ever feel that way. I\u2019m just doing what you would do for me. I\u2019ll do everything I can for you as long as I\u2019m living.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n In December 2015 cardiac arrest delivered Charlie straight into the arms of Jesus\u2014and Mama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I began writing this article after coming across journal notes. The mind is so incredible. I relived the moments as if they\u2019d just happened, feeling the pain and sorrow once more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But reading on, I read notes of God\u2019s faithfulness\u2026how he carried me through heartbreak and never failed me. And that\u2019s my purpose in sharing this personal chapter of my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whatever you\u2019re going through, however deep the heartbreak, God is with you! He has a purpose and he will use it for your good and his glory. Never doubt that. He often takes us through circumstances we don\u2019t want to travel. But his presence is a certainty, and his promises are reliable.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhatever you\u2019re going through, however deep the heartbreak, God is with you! He has a purpose and he will use it for your good and his glory. Never doubt that. He often takes us through circumstances we don\u2019t want to travel. But his\u2026 <\/a><\/span>Click To Tweet<\/a><\/span>\n\n\n\n \u201cI will never leave you nor forsake you.\u201d Wherever you are today, lean on him and trust him,. knowing this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Blessings, my friend, as you navigate this uncertain path. We’re in this together. And the One who goes before us will not allow our foot to slip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a9 Dianne Barker 2020<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My joy is sharing with you the truths God has taught me for living abundantly in this unpredictable world. I don\u2019t often give details about the circumstances where I learned those life-lessons. Today\u2019s thoughts come from a heart-breaking experience that spanned many years\u2014caring for my beloved brother Charlie through numerous health issues and finally, kidney […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[579,581,9,578,580],"class_list":["post-1397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-caregiving","tag-death-of-loved-one","tag-dianne-barker","tag-kidney-failure","tag-surviving-heartbreak"],"yoast_head":"\n