{"id":869,"date":"2019-02-12T03:00:19","date_gmt":"2019-02-12T10:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/diannebarker.com\/?p=869"},"modified":"2019-02-05T11:49:54","modified_gmt":"2019-02-05T18:49:54","slug":"living-in-relationship-a-few-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diannebarker.com\/?p=869","title":{"rendered":"Living in relationship\u2014a Few Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Life is relationship. God designed it that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Adam, the first man, is the only person who had the opportunity\nto live without human fellowship. The Lord God said, \u201cIt is not good that man should\nbe alone.\u201d So he created a helper for him (see Genesis 2:18).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The heart longs for relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Warren Buffet, one of the richest men in the world, in his\nmid seventies said, \u201cWhen you get to be my age, you\u2019ll measure your success in\nlife by how many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you. That\u2019s\nthe ultimate test of how you\u2019ve lived your life\u201d (\u201c10 Ways to Get Rich,\u201d <em>Parade<\/em> September 7, 2008).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are no perfect relationships because we\u2019re all flawed.\nBut our relationships can be very, very good when we understand love isn\u2019t a <em>feeling<\/em>. It\u2019s a decision, an action, a\ncommitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Homes and lives disintegrate every day because people no\nlonger <em>feel<\/em> in love and abandon the\nrelationship that once brought joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First Corinthians 13 gives characteristics of true love: patient;\nkind; never jealous, envious, boastful, proud, haughty, selfish, or rude; doesn\u2019t\ndemand its own way; isn\u2019t irritable or touchy; doesn\u2019t hold grudges; hardly\nnotices when others do it wrong; never glad about injustice; rejoices when\ntruth wins out; loyal no matter the cost; always believes in the one loved, expects\nthe best, and stands its ground in defending the one loved; goes on forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The chapter concludes, \u201cAnd now theses three remain: faith, hope\nand love. But the greatest of these is love.\u201d Love is a choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Truths I\u2019ve learned about living in relationship:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>One person in the\n     relationship, willing to obey God, can by his grace change the relationship.<\/li><li>The relationship is more\n     important than the last word.<\/li><li>I cannot say anything I\n     choose and expect the relationship to endure.<\/li><li>People deserve to be\n     treated with dignity.&nbsp; <\/li><li>Loving most is a\n     Christ-like thing\u2026he laid down His life.<\/li><li>The quality of a\n     relationship is determined by one radical decision: I will obey God.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Are you in a difficult relationship? Here\u2019s good news! \u201cWhen\na man\u2019s ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace\nwith him\u201d (Proverbs 16:7 NIV).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When pleasing the Lord has priority, improving the relationship\nbecomes his responsibility.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To build healthy relationships, we must mind our manners,\nremembering to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be kind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Avoid abusive conduct\u2014verbally, physically, emotionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Choose wholesome communication (no sarcasm, criticism, angry\ntone, silent treatment).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Forgive (not carrying grudges\/pouting).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Put our best foot forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Serve rather than expecting to be served.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bring out the best in the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Show respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Extend the gift of unconditional acceptance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Make a sincere effort to understand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be patient, not jumping to conclusions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Practice self-control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be unselfish, putting the other\u2019s needs first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Try to out-give each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Go the extra mile (make it the rule, not the exception).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Practice the golden rule (Matthew 7:12 doing to others what\nwe would have them do to us).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Esteem others better than self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Deal with bitterness before it grows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Practice persistent, persevering, covering love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Anyone willing to invest in the hard work of building and maintaining\nrelationships can start by applying these commands in Scripture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rid yourself of anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy\ncommunication, and lying; clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness,\npatience, forgiveness, love, peace, and gratitude (see Colossians 3:1-17 NIV).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As we choose our clothing each day, we can choose to put on\nthese qualities that bring peace to our relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bringing these qualities to a relationship, instead of\nobsessing about what someone else is <em>not<\/em>\nbringing, gives the Lord great opportunity to work. The One Who designed\nrelationships wants ours to flourish, bathed in his amazing love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be the kind of person you want your spouse or friend to be.\nWe cannot change anyone else. But God has that power\u2026and he just might use our\nsacrificial love to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If the Lord has brought healing to a difficult relationship in your life, please comment. And share this article with your friends!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00a9 Dianne Barker<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Life is relationship. God designed it that way. Adam, the first man, is the only person who had the opportunity to live without human fellowship. The Lord God said, \u201cIt is not good that man should be alone.\u201d So he created a helper for him (see Genesis 2:18). The heart longs for relationship. Warren Buffet, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[286,9,165,284,283,285],"class_list":["post-869","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-1-corinthians-13","tag-dianne-barker","tag-forgiveness","tag-kindness","tag-living-in-relationship-a-few-thoughts","tag-love"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.7.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Living in relationsip--a few thoughts<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Life is relationship. 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