Just made another trip to the garbage dump.

I despise that stinkin’ place. Sorry to say, I’ve spent too much time there. Some of the junk I’d discarded had somehow made its way back into my life.

A scrap of anger. A handful of discouragement. A chunk of worry. A sliver of fear. A crumb of negative thinking. A sack of grumblings. A basket of resentment. A barrel of hurts.

Getting rid of that trash, it seems, is not a once-and-done thing.

How many times I’ve given my inner house a thorough cleansing and taken a load of putrid stuff to the dump, only to find morsels lingering in the caverns of my heart…like seed…waiting for an offense to water it and activate new growth.

How many times I’ve given my inner house a thorough cleansing and taken a load of putrid stuff to the dump, only to find morsels lingering in the caverns of my heart…like seed…waiting for an offense to water it and activate new… Click To Tweet

And grow it does. Rapidly. Profusely. Uncontrollably. Why do I let that happen?

Just when I’m feeling clean and confident, interactions of daily life send me with a watering can to my rancid garden to nourish old hurts.

Tending my interior garden is a constant challenge. Wish I could find a way to filter out those cowardly specks hiding in the crevices and empty that space forever.

The apostle Paul struggled, too. He wrote, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is sin living in me that does it.

“So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.

“What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?”

Haven’t you, on occasion, flung your hands into the air and let out a baffled cry, “Who will deliver me from this devastating cycle of defeat?”

Haven’t you, on occasion, flung your hands into the air and let out a baffled cry, “Who will deliver me from this devastating cycle of defeat? Click To Tweet

Immediately Paul gave the answer. “Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

His understanding: “So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin” (See Romans 7: 15-25 NIV).

In Chapter 8:1-2 he expounded on the good news. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”  It’s worth the time to read the rest of the chapter.

Our safe place: in Christ Jesus. He is our hope! He is our deliverer!

Are you weary of constant introspection, wondering what evil lurks in the chambers of your heart?

I’m throwing a blanket of protection over me—a simple prayer.

“May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

I may not handle life perfectly today. But I have a cushion for my fall, 1 John 1:9. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Starting my day clean and confident—in him! How about you?

I’d love to know if you relate to my struggle. Please leave a comment. And I’d be honored if you’d share these thoughts with your friends.

© Dianne Barker 2018 (reprinted)